Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
