Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
