I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
