I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
