even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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