it's too hot outside to masturbate.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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