How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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