It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
