If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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