I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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