So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
