Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
