dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
