Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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