I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she looked like the before picture.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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