called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
