Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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