i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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