You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
