There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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