More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
