Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
