its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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