1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize