it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
