Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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