i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
