eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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