I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
