is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
