He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
