ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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