Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
