I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
