No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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