Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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