youre lurking in front of me
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
