I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
