i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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