I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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