If i come over, it means nothing
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
