i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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