Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
