I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
