just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize