I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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