I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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