Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my shit smells like andre
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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