If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Randomize
