Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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