Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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