if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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