I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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