Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
