ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
