I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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