Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Couch. On fire.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
