She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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