Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
