I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
where am i from again
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
