my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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