Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
