What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize