if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
