Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
