we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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