she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
