so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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