What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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