We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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